Tuesday, January 18, 2011

My arch nemesis. Who IS this woman?

I have a T stop nemesis. I see her at least twice a week on the platform in the morning as I'm heading into the office. She's there in her giant fur coat, shuffling side to side, up and down the platform in her routine to ensure that she boards the train ahead of all others. It's a spectacle - and it's annoying as hell.

Usually I watch these things with my typical sense of mild amusement, but I moved past amusement into annoyance quite a while ago. This lady is a nightmare! I watched the other day as she side-shuffled right into another woman, who then lost her balance, and fell onto her knees. No acknowledgment came. No apology followed. That's right, people.

Seriously though, who IS this woman? She's like the opposite of a superhero. She's a T villain, and - I'm not kidding - dangerous to anyone not familiar with the choreography. You get in the way, you're toast. You're going down. You're knocked into busy Beacon Street traffic, or worse, sucked into the vortex of her mothball coat (trust me, I've been there), or most commonly, forcefully slammed into the side of the train (again, yup, been there).

Oh...it gets better! The best part is, once she plows you down so she can board ahead of you, she then plays the "I'm elderly...give up your seat for me" card and hovers over people, staring them down until they gather up their things, stand, and gesture politely for her to be seated.

What?! I'm so done with this. 

You know what lady? Here's what I have to say to you (not in person, of course, but here, in my blog...where it's safe): If you have the strength and energy to knock me aside, slam me into side of the train, and sprint up the steps...then I think you just might have the physical stamina to stand for this ride.

Mental note for future: She is SO never getting my seat.

Needless to say, I am against her.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

The joy of the sparkly hat.

I have the most glorious new sequined faux fur Russian cap, rescued from the bottom of the children's accessory bin at Marshalls. It's sparkly, it's furry, it's warm, and it's fun. It makes me happy...and I like being happy.

Yesterday, I happily put on my new, wonderful hat and headed out the door to work. As I sat on the subway I noticed people staring, and I started to feel a bit uncomfortable. Is my hat too big? Is it too fluffy? Is it too sparkly? Maybe they didn't like it, which is fine - we all have our own tastes. I'm sure I was just being paranoid. But, from my perspective, people were looking, and even though I loved the hat, all of a sudden, I wasn't entirely confident wearing it. I felt myself starting to feel a little embarrassed - a feeling that came out of the blue. I'm not sure where from.

Anyway, later that day, as I was leaving the office to walk to my Abs & Arms class (yes - I'm still happily going!), I'm ashamed to say, I started to question my wonderful hat. I almost stuffed it in my bag (I'm sorry, hat!). I didn't though - I put it on my head just as I'd done that morning, and walked with a friend to the studio.

As we chatted along the way, I forgot about the hat, until I walked in the door and realized it was still on my head. I quickly pulled it off as I waited to check in, and just then, something happened. My doubt was shooed away and I was reassured! Thank you, Helena, not for loving my hat as much I do, but for taking the time to tell me so - and at just the right time. I guess the hat, with it's happy little sparkles, is really more than a hat. It's representative of how I try to live my life, which I do sometimes question. This validation did two things for me. It confirmed that 1) the hat is, indeed, glorious (duh! how could I ever have questioned it?!), and 2) there are many roads to happiness in life, and there's nothing wrong with choosing the sparkly one.

Whatever road you choose, live each day as the gift that it is. Seek out the good, the fun, the happy - in people, in animals, and even in the small things, like glorious sparkly hats. We each get one life - one shot. Why spend it wearing a plain boring hat, when you can wear a fabulous sequined number? We all have a choice when it comes to what path we take. I've made my choice...and my path is paved with sequins. :)

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

A Tribute to my Dad (10/12/30 - 1/5/2010)

It's been one year today. Thought I'd revisit:

For those of you who knew my dad, you'll understand how difficult it is to capture the true essence of him with only the written word. He was one of a kind, a good, kind - a kind that comes along every once in a while to make a certain mark on the world.  Though my dad's special mark has surely painted itself far beyond the world in which I knew him, it is to those closest to him, his family and friends, that his colors shown most brightly. He was caring, kind, funny, and far to smart for the rest of us.

There wasn't anything he didn't know. No question he couldn't answer - and as a kid, I had a lot of questions. Sometimes he would provide the answer, and only the answer.  "Daddy, airplanes are so big. How can they stay up in the sky with all those people in them?"  My dad talked about lift as a force that works in opposition to the weight of the plane, the role the shape of the wings play, etc. I went away satisfied.

To most questions, however, he provided the answer, with a little dose of his true self: "Daddy, my science teacher wants us to find out why the sky is blue. Why is it blue?" I had to write my answer on an index card and hand it in for extra credit the next day.  Immediately, his familiar 'pleased with himself' grin came across his face. "Heh heh heh...Daddy thinks you should write, 'You're the science teacher. You should know this, you dummy.' "

He did go on to answer, explaining how molecules scatter blue light differently than red light, and why we see blue when the sun in high, but red when the sun is low.  I got my extra credit and then some, because not only did I know why the sky was blue, I knew why sunsets were red as well.

Homework help with a man like my dad wasn't always that simple.  He would continually show me "better and "more logical" ways to arrive at the answers to my math problems. This usually involved skipping every other step, adding in new steps, him assuming I was following his thought process, me crying, and my mom stepping in to finish the job.  Sometimes, though, I actually understood his shortcuts and the logic behind them.  From this I also came to understand that teachers don't respond well to "My dad said this way is smarter and more logical."

My very first job as a teenager was working in a nursing home kitchen with my sister Jen. The morning shift required that we be at work by 6 AM to begin the preparing breakfast. In winter, it was especially difficult to get up and out the door on time.  My dad would wake me up, and after I got myself dressed, I would find that he had put my coat and shoes by the heater to warm, scraped off and started my car, and left two breakfast sandwiches on the counter, one for me, and one for "the girl who works in the laundry."

We never had family pets as kids, but we did bring home many hurt or abandoned forest creatures. The was Augie Bird (my dad had named him), a cedar waxwing chick I'd found hopping in the road. My dad made a home for him with a cardboard box and a dowel and sent us outside to gather grass for a nest. I remember feeding him with an eyedropper and watching him bathe in the little apple shaped dish my sister Jen contributed. Augie lived with us for a few weeks until he was ready to fly off and join his family.

A couple years later, I found a baby bird lying lifeless in the grass. I brought him to my dad and asked him to help me give him a proper burial.  My dad looked at the bird, raised and eyebrow, and said, "Let's try something kid. Come sit here next to Daddy." He then cupped the bird in his hands. I sat next to him and waited, not sure what it was we were trying to do. Eventually, I saw my dad smile. He opened his hands, and there was our little bird, wriggling around and looking up at us.

My dad taught us about science, nature, the beauty of numbers, and so much more.  But mostly, I think I learned from him that we should always be who we are. My dad was. You could either take it, or leave it. It made no difference to him. He wasn't going to change, or dilute any part of himself in response to, or for fear of judgment. He wasn't going to lower his standards in relation to what he called "the dummy spread" and he certainly wasn't going to start watching those reality television shows that he said destroyed the brain cells of America one empty episode at a time.

I learned from him how to look at things - to really look - to see things for what they are, and not through the various perceptions  we create to make things appear the way we want them to.  My dad taught me a certain quality of looking, and I see more, understand more, and know more because of him. 

It is my dad who taught me how to laugh at the world, and at myself.  It is from my dad that I learned how to learn every day. "Learn all you can, kids," he would say, "because each thing that you learn is one more thing that you know."

Thank you, Dad, for helping to make me who I am today. There are so many things I'll miss about you, but mostly, I'll just miss you.

Saturday, January 1, 2011

2010: Highs and Lows

Oh, 2010. You brought some really good times, and some really bad times. You introduced changes, and allowed for constants. In the end, you were just another year of rolling with the punches and going with the flow - another year of being thankful for each day, no matter what it brings.

Here's my year, in short:

Favorite Thing
going to the Emmys

Worst Thing
losing my dad

Most Miraculous Thing
the arrival of my new little niece

Most Positive Thing

after 10 years of looking, finally found a fitness studio that I love

Most Consistent Thing
my little kitty always purring at my side

Most Surprising Thing

the surprise birthday party for me at Rustic

Most Glorious Thing
taking over the stage at The Donkey Show

Most Disappointing Thing
missing Tasha's memorial tribute at the AMFAR Gala


Most Courageous Decision
gave up my management job and moved back into doing what I love

Most Played CD
Cabaret (1998 Broadway Revival)

Most Watched DVD
Sense & Sensibility (1996)

Most Frequented Restaurant
Gaslight

Most Frequented Bar
Grill 23

Most Consumed Cocktail
Champagne & St. Germain

Most Used Phrase
"It's DELICIOUS!"